Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
I've been working with several on an upcoming reunion for several classes. It's been trying at times - but it's also but extremely rewarding. I've been able to meet up with a lot of old (not in age of course! LOL) classmates - many I've not heard from nor spoken to in well over 40 years.
Of course, in every planning there are those who want to create destruction. There have been "rumors" and "lies" that I've been the center of. I've felt belittled. I have felt persecuted over things I did not say nor do. I do know who DID say them, but it wasn't me.
I have come to realize that when you are doing the right thing, making good decisions, you will not always be the most popular nor the most accepted. I have come to realize that there are trouble makers everywhere.
During this time, I've prayed for my enemies. I have tried to be grace under fire. I have deleted negativity from my Facebook page. I realize that I cannot control others' emotions nor beliefs, but if they are negative and wrong, I also do not have to condone nor listen to them.
I also believe during this time, I've gained a lot. I've gained strength in times of persecution, I've read my Bible more, I've prayed more, I've asked for forgiveness more and I think I've grown in spirituality.
I saw ugly at it's best and I want no part of it. I saw me several years ago - spewing anger and vile at people over rumors. I do not want others to perceive me as someone I do not want to be.
I was proud of how I handled things. I never cursed them. I was upset. I was stressed to the point my doctor said I was stroke stage. None of us wants to be lied about especially across the web. It hurt. I prayed that God would protect me from all their evil ways. And, I believe He did.
I also had time to ponder of all the times in my life, how many times have I disobeyed God? How many times have I fallen short in doing my part of my life? I'm trying to walk the path God has for me - sometimes I falter - but I do know when I do - that He is there to help pick me up.
We cannot control others' opinions of us. But we can have strength under fire - we can hold our heads up with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child. We aren't in elementary school any longer - some of us have grown up, and, others - well, somehow they are still stuck in school with the same mentalities.
I'm truly looking forward to this reunion. I'm looking forward to renewing friendships. And, I'm grateful for the persecution - because it has made me a stronger Christian - and for that, if no other reason - I am grateful to my enemies.
Read Proverbs 12 - I read the Proverb after I had originally written this. I am thrilled with the confirmation.
I thought of you this morning, and thought of the trials we all go through. I wanted to share these 2 scriptures with you - to remind you that God is carrying you through this time in your life - that He is your shelter, your rock and also to let you know - as a friend - I'm here for you.
Psalms 86:7 "In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee, for thou will answer"
Psalms 138:7"Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will bring me safely through them. You will clench your fist against my angry enemies. Your power will save me."
God also says "I will never leave you nor forsake you"
We all live in circumstances that we don't like. We ask God "why" and He doesn't tell us - so we have to deal with them. But we can deal with them through the inner strength God gives us.
Phillippians 4:11-12 Paul was in prison in Rome writing to the Philippians - "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on amost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want." Paul was in bad circumstances when he wrote this. I think we can learn a lot from Paul. You focus on Christ rather than the circumstances.
I want to focus less on the problems and put more focus on Christ. There are no circumstances in our lives that God cannot change if He choses to.
Paul focused on the sovereignty of God, not the will of man. Romans 8:28 "And, we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His will"
"For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants." Just because we do not see God's work - He is working for us. He knows our needs before we ever ask. But we can't work against Him with our fretting.
The difficult things, pain, hurt times push us to listen more to what God has to say. Let's focus on the POSITIVE results and not the pain or loss. Philippians 1:12-13 Paul had all those guards day and night and was able to witness to all these guards - who were able to go out and preach and they pointed back to Paul and talked of his letters and courage.
Strength under courage - Love you - and look forward to continuing to pray with you and for you. God is dealing with us - in major ways - our trials and tribulations are really small issues - God is strengthening us and preparing us for great things. The focus of our life is Jesus who is within us. I want us to all know Jesus in the most intimate way possible. That, I am sure will take care of us all.
So, do we continue to focus on our circumstances or do we focus on the sovereinty of God and let Him use us to be a witness in someone else's life. it's our choice. it's what we can do.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
What a Tangled Web We Weave
I have not written on this blog in a while. Not that there weren’t some exciting things going on, just had other priorities. By the way, I did finish one children’s book, which is at the illustrator’s now and hopefully will be out in time for Christmas gifts!
Yesterday, however, made me realize that I needed to tell a story – not a lie kind of story – but a story.
A little over a year ago, I was contacted by an old classmate – we reunited, like many have, on Facebook. As we all want to know about the years that separated us, one thing led to another in the discussions. Over a month or so, she began to share her unhappiness in her life, mainly her abusive husband and her desire to find happiness in her life.
I, having been a victim of domestic abuse, felt the need to help. We concocted plan(s). She deviated from the plans immensely at the end – but I still had the final say on some things – like I would not go to her/his home and remove anything. Anything that I hauled would have to be away from the home. And, I told her to bring the bare essentials.
One of the smart things I did do was to not go to their home. The other, was to keep all documentation and photographs!
We got her moved back to Texas, made plans, helped her obtain a job, got her settled in – where in less than a week after getting here – she was on the road heading back to “the abuse”.
Yesterday, out of the blue, her sister contacted me. I was smart enough to have saved all IMs, all emails, all texts, and all notes concerning everything that led up to her coming to Texas and the demise of a friendship.
After almost a full day of emails back and forth, I finally felt vindicated and refreshed. There were very few folks in whom I could talk about this without making it seem that I was fabricating things. The sister knows her. Knows her drama. Knows her motive-operandi. Knows her “oh poor me”. Knows how she controls and manipulates. So, when I was shared the story that they had heard, comparing it to events and things that happened once she got to Texas and shortly after she left, I better understood why certain things happened and where statements had come from.
She had said her dad was dying and she had to get to Freeport to the hospital. I knew from the beginning that was a lie. Freeport no longer has a hospital. She said that she had been abused. Perhaps, but even that doesn’t seem real now. She said her son wasn’t this man’s child and that her husband was abusive to the son. The part about the son not being the father’s – I can almost understand. I wouldn’t want a 20 year old just laying around all day and not working and thinking the world owed him something either. She said she wanted to work. Once she got here, we helped her find a job – which is hard to find in Beaumont. Her second day on the job, she said she was quitting and asked how long she could stay here. I told her at least 6 months and I wanted her to see a counselor. She never wanted to help clean nor cook. She took hours in the bathroom “grooming” her and she didn’t look any different when she came out than when she went in. She told how her mother was crazy. I believe that fruit didn’t fall far from the tree. She told us her father sexually abused her. I do not believe that now. She told us how she was like Cinderella with the stepmother and had to do all the work around the house. I’ve learned over the years, that hard work at a young age teaches us to be better in our adult life.
The next day she went to work, and came home late. She would not come home in the evenings after work – she would ride around in neighborhoods that she should not be in. She left – in a fake “trauma like mindset”. I thoroughly believe it was all-fake.
She went back. And, along the way she told an amazing story to those who would listen. I learned that she reported that I wanted her to get a passport to help run drugs out of Mexico. I wanted her to get a passport so she could go south with me, where I have a home, where I go see my allergy doctor and get my asthma meds. I also was “running guns”. I do own a few guns – several that I purchased from another classmate (one of the one’s she fabricated all this to). I’m smart enough not to even take a spray of pepper spray much less a bullet or a gun into Mexico. My husband also is a murderer, according to her. My husband is a Process chemical engineer with an impeccably clean criminal record.
After comparing notes, the sister and I agree, that she needs help and prayers. I do not hold a grudge. I won’t and I haven’t. It was an expensive lesson to learn, one that I chalked up to experience. But, I also realize that she must be in one heck of a tangled web to have to make herself appear to be a victim through manufactured lies.
She reminds me of the story and verse of Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive.
Today, I feel very vindicated. I know the truth has set me free. For those who want to believe her lies, they need to know her past. When you look at where they’ve been, what their plans are, and then you can see the truth to it all.
Personally, I do not know who is more crazy – she or the husband who took her back. Perhaps she has made him this way – or vice versa. I just know it feels good to be released from the bondage that I’ve carried inside of me.
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive – but oh how great it feels to be free from those who weave their webs.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
When Hurricane Rita hit us, we had no clue for several months what to do. I think I personally went into a state of shock for a while. My office was gone, computers, trees, our store was damaged and everything in it – it was a mess.
We were very blessed with friends who came and assisted us in getting things as back together in bins and cleaning up the debris as possible. But it wasn’t the same place any more.
We got hit again 3 years later; about the time that we were starting to pick up the pieces and get our lives back together again. Another kick back.
We’ve worked hard all summer long. First we had termite damages that had to be taken care of. Then we started on repairing the roof of the “old store”. More mold, debris. Going through boxes and boxes of books – throwing away those that were moldy or damaged. It just seems it’s been a long journey.
Today I m back in my office, my original office – which later turned to a store. It will never go back to being anything but my office. The majority of this portion of the house is restored. We are working on the rest of it. But, I am home.
It feels good to be home. There’s a feeling of peace that comes with each repair. It’s a feeling, “I’m home.”
The road has been a journey – with lots of speed bumps and huge potholes – not to mention tears. I think those have been placed in the journey to make me appreciate all that I have, all of my blessings and everything and everyone around me.
Neighbors have stopped in to hug me and tell me how much they’ve missed me. Even some whom I put in prison that are out have stopped by to tell me hello and that they missed me.
I suppose you can wander from home – but home is where you hang your heart – I’m looking forward to getting my earthly home refurbished and everything organized. But more importantly, as I go through life, I hope that I am also making the preparations for my Heavenly Home – because that’s going to be the one that counts the most!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thinking of Others
I sometimes wonder when folks say, “I’ll be thinking of you.” If that is what they really mean or is that just something they are saying?
Sometimes I think I may phone someone too early or too late in the mornings or evenings. You know that you are old when someone calls after 9pm and says, “Were you sleeping?” And, you are really old when you have to say, “Yes!”
I do think of others – or at least I try. I think as Christians we are suppose to pray for one another, help one another where we can and love one another.
I rejoice in good news from friends. I love hearing about their doings and goings. I love seeing the pictures of their families, or their vacations, or projects that they are working on.
I cry when one of my friends hurt or is sad or has lost a loved one. I hurt for them.
Saying all of this doesn’t mean that you get into the middle of someone’s business and tell him or her how to run his or her lives. It means that we are to be caring, as we would want them to care for us. We need to take more interest in our neighbors and friends. Don’t let them use you or take your kindness and thoughtfulness as a weakness. But, show interest in what they are doing.
I think if more parents and grandparents showed interest in what their children were doing, there possibly could be more family unity.
Philippians 2:4 “Don’t just think about your own affairs but be interested in others too and in what they are doing.”
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
“I’m dying,” said my friend stoically to me. I looked at her with bewilderment not knowing what to say or do. I wanted to hug her, I wanted to cry. But the expression on her face was a look that I cannot even describe.
“Okay, when?” I asked.
“Soon. I have stage 5 cancer.”
We sat there quietly for a long time.
“What are you going to say about me at my funeral?” She asked.
“Uhm I didn’t know I was saying anything at your funeral.”
“Yes, you have to – you know me the best. Even the preacher won’t get it right – but you will.”
I had to make a promise to a dying friend that I would speak at her eulogy. She had already told the preacher not to preach – that I would handle the speaking parts.
I left dumbstruck. And, then I thought about my own life. What will people say about me when I’m dead? Have you ever thought of that question? And, then I wondered, “How many people would come to my party?” See, I’m being cremated, and have instructed in my Will that there be a party – a celebration of my life.
I want folks to look at an old house and think of me, or look or touch a quilt and feel my warmth; I want them to smell a rose in the garden and feel me with the wind that blows through their hair; I want to be remembered in lots of ways – and not laying in a casket.
I’ve thought of what I am going to say about my friend. I am going to talk on John 3:16. Angie is one of the most devoted Christians – and how better to rejoice with her life – than to make sure that others accept Jesus as their Savior as well.
And, I’m going to think more about my life – and hope that as I make my journey that I am touching folks in a positive manner. I want to leave a footprint in their hearts and minds – in a wonderful way – and not someone they would rather forget.
Monday, January 3, 2011
I have a friend, an older gentleman, who just cannot seem to grasp manners at a table. He cannot stuff his mouth or belly quick enough. I am to the point I cannot eat a meal at the same table as he. I have gone through autopsy photos during meals, read crime scene information with the blood guts and gore, but I just cannot bring myself to eat around him.
At meal times when he is around, I often think of Jesus when he went to the wedding and made the wine or when he took the loaves of bread and fish and divided it among so many. I would doubt there was gluttony among those eating and drinking.
Manners go a long way for a person – not only in their personal life but also in their professional careers. Who wants to sit at a table across from someone smacking, or talking with food in their mouths, or not even wiping their mouth while they eat?
That is one thing I am very glad that I was hard on my son regarding his table manners. Many a mother would call and compliment me on how well Patrick’s table manners were.
I think when we eat – our bodies are a Temple of God.
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
And, I think that means the way we eat and drink.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I have a friend who keeps calling her daughter Princess and the child tells the little sister, “Do this or that because the Princess says”.
I don’t like that. I think it plants a false seed in a child’s mind. I think that it is cute to a degree – but teaches the child a falsehood of life.
Life isn’t going to be about that child being a “Princess” – think of the rejection she will have from other peers and classmates. One child is called a “Princess” and not the other. Where does that leave the sibling?
I think it is setting the child up for failure. If the “princess” doesn’t get what she wants, then how will she react? This “Princess” recently told me “when you come see me you are suppose to bring me presents, because I am a Princess”
I quickly informed the child that was rude to ask or tell someone to bring her a gift. I think this is really stretching “fairy tale living”.
God says, “I made you when you were still in your mother’s womb. I know the most intricate parts of you.” Why would we want to be anyone else other than whom God made us? And, why would we want to teach a child that fiction is the truth?
Children live what they learn. And, when a child is given false encouragement, the child is doomed for failure and heartbreak. Teach a child to love herself for whom she is – and not something fictional!